Sleeping Like a Baby . . .

Coming up on six months in. I have learned a few things since the birth of our daughter in relation to the world and the sayings people use in relation to babies. 

 

1) Smooth as a baby’s bottom:

 

One, what weird-o is testing to see just how smooth a baby’s bottom is. I haven’t yet taken the time to observe my daughter’s butt smoothness. “Smooth as a baby’s cheek…” OK, yeah, makes total sense. But the butt? Where did this come from? 

 

Also, 80% of the time, that “smooth” butt is also covered in either urine or poo. Smooth as a urine covered bottom….. That’s the new phrase. It’ll catch on. 

 

2) Sleeping like a baby:

Friend, if you are sleeping like a baby. Seek help. A grown individual should not wake up every two hours starving and crying their eyes out while wetting the bed. 

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I’m JUST saying. 

 

3) She’s cute as a button:

When did buttons become cute? “Your child is as cute as a small disc of plastic that holds my pants up…” This one eludes me.

 

4) Look at those chubby little cheeks, I just wanna squeeze ’em:

 

Two words. Child. Abuse.

 

Few other things I have learned. Babies fart a LOT. Like, every time you pick them up…. bbbbbrrrrrrrrrt. And it’s a grown man’s kinda fart. Not like, small baby, small fart. There’s no fart ratio here. In fact, my child has let out fart’s that were longer than some Queen songs I am pretty sure. Marie and I look back and forth at each other, then at her, then back at each other, get up to pre-heat the oven, come back, build an entire bird house, find the last number in the Pi formula and then maybe she’ll be done. Blew my mind the first time I heard it. I thought she was deflating. 

 

“MY GOD, she blew a valve or something, quick get the Duct tape!!!”

 

All joking aside though (yeah, right….) it has been awesome. One thing I never understood was hearing a parent talk about just sitting there watching them sleep. Pre-kid me always thought something like:

 

“OK…. wierd-o. You just sit there and stare at them? Hmmm, not creepy at all.” 

But I get it now, for one, you are just appreciating the peace and lack of chaos that sleep can bring to your child. But you just sit there thinking about how this little life is something you made. 

I created a life. Living, breathing person. 

 

Well, ok, MARIE did the work, but, you get the idea. 

 

It’s amazing to see her starting to have a personality. To have likes, dislikes, specific things that you know will irritate her or make her smile. She has a routine now, she sits up like a little person. She is a little person. Even starting to get teeth. It’s great. Unless she chomps into my knuckle without my realizing, that’s not so great. 

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In short, we are almost six months in (5 months and like 3 weeks) and I couldn’t be happier as a dad. We have both been busy, the blog has been slow, but we are still here; hopefully our small readership is too. Either way though, it’ll be great to look back in 10 years and have a set of words to know the things I thought and noticed as she was growing up. 

Like her incredible farting ability. She’ll appreciate that come time to start dating.

 

“Come sit down here son, I think you should know just how loaded with gases this young lady can be…” 

Well, that’s all for now. Quick post to say hi really, point out the things you should consider before comparing things or yourself to a baby. More coming hopefully soon. Stay close….

 

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Taking Technology For All It’s Worth

Two and a half months now. It’s hard to keep up a blog when there is so much going on! Plus, I didn’t want to post up 15 posts about getting poo’ed on. Toilet humor only goes so far.

I have however had a recent realization. Technology. It has made having a kid a million times easier… On my family. We take it for granted so much. It’s just a necessary part of our lives nowadays. As I write this I am sitting in bed on a Sunday morning. I just finished uploading photos of my daughter to Facebook and emailing photos to my dad who still doesn’t understand why the internet has a book of faces.

Technology.

Back in even just the 90’s, if you wanted to show family members photos of your trip to the zoo, it meant loading film into the camera, shooting, dropping the film off at a developer, paying for prints, loading up an envelope and mailing them off only to have them get there a good two weeks after the event.

Now I can stand there and video call my family and they can practically walk through the zoo with us while still being 2,000+ miles away. I can take a photo on my phone, edit it and upload it to Any number of social media sites simultaneously all in a matter of 30 seconds for the whole world to see. Instantly.

I say again… Technology.

It amazes me. I was the last generation to know what it meant to write a letter over a text. To have to load a roll of film and not know what the photo you just took looked like until probably 2-4 days after you took it. To consider only having a voice on the other end of a phone something special. No video chatting, picture texting, fancy-dancy iEverything devices.

It is 2013. While the Jetsons might be disappointed in our progress, I’m amazed by the things we can do.

My daughter is going to grow up in a world that has evolved so quickly over just the last 15 years… It’s sort of a scary thought. Where will we be when she is old enough to want an iPhone 23gsXL? Where will the normal age for getting a cell phone be within society? As it stands now, it seems like every 8-year-old has a cell phone. Maybe I should get her one now. She doesn’t need to know how to talk… Who uses a cell phone to call people? Pssh.

Anywho. Just wanted to throw up some thoughts I had on this Sunday morning and top it off with a few photos. As for all of us, we are doing well. Amelia is getting big quick; hard to believe it’s been almost three months since she was born. Well, time for another cup of coffee and a shower. Stay close, more coming sometime soon…

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Keeping it Fresh . . . The Diaper, That is. . . . .

Every diaper is like trying to outrun the apocalypse.

You know it’s going to happen, no matter how long you wait to change it, hoping they squeezed it all out… they are never fully done.

   Grab the wipe, move like Flash Gordon trying to get their butt clean, and then you have to do the one-handed change out while holding their feet up like a cow wrangler, which is baby code for time to poop.

Unfortunately for Marie, she just wasn’t fast enough, and she paid the price. Poop. Everywhere.

I thought it was hilarious, she wasn’t as entertained.

   You learn quickly that farts can be the scariest thing you’ll encounter in your entire life. When you are holding a baby by the legs trying to slide a diaper under their butt and they fart, you will have the worst one-second panic attack ever.

“OH NO!!! . . . . ok, whew….”

 

   It’s been great though. Aside from leaking diapers and the occasional science defying poop-up-the-back trick that newborns seem to be pretty good at, it’s been an amazing experience. And we are only three weeks in. Three weeks down, 60+ years to go.

   I have found it to be quite interesting how quickly a baby can develop habits and dislikes. For example, Amelia doesn’t care for her swing, loves the papasan, hates her crib and will sleep like, well, a baby when you put her on your chest. The oddest thing by far THUS far though, is that she LOVES walking up and down the stairs.

   It doesn’t seem to matter how upset she is, what’s causing it or for how long she has been crying. As soon as I walk her up the stairs she’ll quiet right down. It’s a simple fix, though again with the panic attacks, of course she loves to be walked up and down the most dangerous part of our house. Every step is like I’m making sure there aren’t hot coals under my feet.  

   I have been loving every bit of it though. I’ve come to realize that I am getting spoiled though as she has, from the first night she was alive, been sleeping 3 or more hours at a time. Experienced parents hear this and they get a look of shear hatred in their eyes for half a second masked by fake words of excitement. I always feel bad when I have to answer it.

 “So, are you getting a lot of sleep?”

Which really means:

“So how’s being kept up every night and never getting to sleep for more than like 20 minutes at a time, have you gone insane yet? HAHAHAHA WELCOME TO PARENTING!!!!!!”

Then you answer with:

“Actually, she sleeps for like 3 hours at a time.”

They respond with:

“Oh that’s good.”

Their eyes say:

“I hate you. I haven’t slept in 3 years. I hope a jet engine test shop is built next to your house tomorrow.”

 

   Amelia is doing great though, she went in for her two-week appointment not long ago, came in at just over ten pounds and in the 92% of size for her weight and 73% for her length. Healthy and seemingly pretty happy.

   She doesn’t fuss too much either. She only gets noisy when she actually has a problem, i.e. needs a clean diaper, is hungry, she’s too hot or cold or needs help with getting a fart out. That’s pretty much the extent of her worries at three weeks old. What a life, eh?

   Drives Marie nuts because I can pick her up and quiet her down within a couple minutes, and now with this stair thing figured out, I am Mr. Problem Solver. I like it though, she loves her dad. And there is nothing wrong with dad being able to solve all of her problems. Won’t last forever; but the longer Amelia doesn’t know that the better for me. ;)

   Well, that’s about all for now, we are going to be doing some actual portraits here in the next couple of days, so stay tuned for those to be put up. Stay close, plenty more to come!

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The Best Feeling Ever? Being a Dad.

This is going to be a hard post to write. How do you explain the experience of becoming a dad? Amazing. Intense. Emotional. Awesome. All of the above for 500 please, Alex.

So, if you are keeping track of every post, you know Amelia Renee Williams is finally here. If you aren’t keeping track of every post…. Amelia Renee Williams is finally here. Now you know. And she is amazingly perfect. Healthy, cute and coming in at 9.3 pounds when born and 22″ long, she is a “my sized” baby. Keep in mind, I’m 6’5”… big is normal. Poor Marie had to deliver her though….

   Marie went into labor about 11:30 at night on Wednesday. At 3:07 PM on Thursday, November 8th of 2012, Amelia finally decided to make her grand appearance into the world. I would like to proudly say that I ended up getting a pretty front row seat to everything, the midwives at the hospital had me kinda holding a leg and being RIGHT there, so I watched her…. pop out, for a gently put description. I handled it like a champ, it really wasn’t as gross or dramatic (ok, well, it was dramatic, it’s BIRTH, but grossly dramatic is what I mean) as everyone makes it out to be. They wrangled her out, the cord got caught around her neck (just like her daddy when I was born) flipped her around like baby wrangling pros, and set her on Marie. I lost. My. Mind, people.

(sorry about the shirt, this is what happens when she goes into labor at 11
at night, pajama top and jeans over pajama bottom… it’s a cartoon reference
of the movie Braveheart, for everyone’s understanding…)

   I have never experienced such emotion in my entire life. There was an overwhelming flood of love and excitement. I did everything I could to keep it together and remain “manly” but within a few seconds I was crying. They asked me if I wanted to cut the cord and even though I know it’s not going to squirt blood everywhere and flail around like a fire hose, I decided against cutting through veins and organy stuff. My response to the midwife was “I’ve done pretty good with everything else, but that’s not really my thing.” or something very close. She chuckled, but I was dead serious. That’s the only thing that totally weirded me out through it all… cut the cord….. eeesh.

   As they picked Amelia up to take her over to the table to clean her up and check her out, one of the midwives told me I could go over to her if I wanted. Of course I did, but I was still holding Marie’s leg. So after sorting out what to do with a leg post-birth and no stirrup… I headed over to her.

It’s interesting that mother nature, or God, or science or whatever, creates such an emotional response in a man. The woman has to go through labor and all that, so you would expect some sort of a chemical trigger or emotion that would cause them to bond on sight. But I wouldn’t have thought that kind of a process happens in a man. Going into it all I knew when I saw her for the first time that I would be excited and filled with love, but I had no idea what I was in for. It was the most intense experience of my life. I stood there staring down at a life that I had created. I am responsible for. This tiny little person (for lack of a better word) belongs to me. The nurse guy wrapped her up and handed her off to me. And I was a step away from bawling. Completely overcome with excitement, love, joy, contentment, amazement…. I suddenly understood exactly what a father’s love for his daughter meant. Unexplainable, overpowering and insanely intense emotion. Holding her for the first time, I was overcome with a sense of peace and happiness. I was absolutely instantly in love with her.

   We are now five days in. I have changed all but three of her diapers, I figure I shouldn’t short Marie of all the fun. I did, however, hog her the first day home though. Marie’s mother Kathy is staying with us visiting from Hawaii, she’s all but drop kicking me to free up her granddaughter for a few minutes to be able to hold her.

   Holding my little girl is already when the universe becomes still for me. Every time I look down at her in my arms, my soul is quiet, happy and content. She may be in the middle of a crying fit and it’s 2:30 in the morning, but I’m happy just holding her and getting to go through being a dad. Being her dad. It’s an unexplainable feeling and the more I try to find words, the cheesier it seems to get. But the seemingly intense cheesiness is as close as I can get. Like everyone who has kids had told me about the feeling I’d get the first time I saw her and every time I look at her, you just have to experience it.

   Well, I suppose it’s time to go get some sleep while I have the chance. We’ll be up in a couple of hours trying to get a five-day-old infant through yet another life shattering dirty diaper crisis. Honestly though, lucky for us, she is pretty mild-mannered. She only gets bent out of shape long enough for us to figure out what’s wrong and fix it, then she’s back to being happy.

   Time for bed. Can’t believe she’s finally here. It’s awesome and I am already trying to savor every second of it. More coming soon, stay close…

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And So It Happened…

And at 3:07 PM on the 8th of November, 2012…. Amelia Renee Williams was finally born. We are still at the hospital… But at 9 pounds (or 4091 grams) and 22”, she is no small baby. Seems to be perfectly healthy and is just as beautiful. Who knew you could have so much love for one person. She’s already got me wrapped around her dainty little fingers…. More coming soon, stay close….

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Saw Sandy Through….

Whew.

Almost thought I was going to lose the roof of the house, have to deliver a baby on the couch, and then swim to safety out the front door….

Or so the news had me convinced would happen. They really pumped this storm up… My poor mother and family in general on the West coast was frantically worrying and closely monitoring the news… My advice was to just turn it off, because nothing they said was happening was happening to us.

Truth be told, the storm did turn out to be pretty serious. A recorded 7.4 million without power up and down the East coast and from what I’ve seen in New York, probably four to six times that number in monetary damages and that’s probably a way under guess….. What a mess Sandy made…. You think Mother Nature would at least teach her storms to clean up after themselves. How rude.

We got lucky though. Aside from some winds and rain, we didn’t even lose power. Had to go pick a friend of mine up who did, but we got lucky. Marie spent the bulk of the “megastorm” playing video games on the computer. To sum it up, we roughed it out…. 2012 style.

There are some roof shingles laying about on the grass, parking lot, my windshield…. So I suppose we’ll have something to worry about…

That’s the latest here, hopefully power companies can get people their power back soon. At least it’s not way cold or deathly hot, we lost power in our old house over the summer in the middle of a heat wave for almost a week. Temps in the 105 made for a rough week with not even the option to turn a fan on…

Well, back to waiting on baby to make her grand appearance. This mobile blogging option is pretty handy. Makes it a lot easier to crank posts out, haven’t had time to sit and write much lately. Stay close, baby will be here soon!

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The Beginning of My Mobile Blogging…

So, a week to go until the ol’ bun is ready to come out of the oven.

Funny story. I am blogging from my phone. Right. Now. Oh technology! WordPress, my blogging medium, FINALLY redesigned their iPhone app, it used to stink reallllll bad. However, now I can actually blog, with photos, and effectively create posts on the go. Bet that’ll be real helpful come time to be a super dad.

So, with any luck the posts will be a) much more often and b) probably way shorter now. Thumb typing makes for naturally shorter paragraphs.

Anywho, just thought I’d proudly show off how on the cusp of technology I am…. Blogging straight from my iPhone… Look out Thomas Einstein…. I’m on the edge of science. Well, it’s Halloween weekend round here, so back to the pumpkins and costumes! Photo included is Marie’s daughter, Alyssa, gettin her Halloween costume put on….

Stay close to the blog, baby’s comin’ soon!!!

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