Coming up on six months in. I have learned a few things since the birth of our daughter in relation to the world and the sayings people use in relation to babies.
1) Smooth as a baby’s bottom:
One, what weird-o is testing to see just how smooth a baby’s bottom is. I haven’t yet taken the time to observe my daughter’s butt smoothness. “Smooth as a baby’s cheek…” OK, yeah, makes total sense. But the butt? Where did this come from?
Also, 80% of the time, that “smooth” butt is also covered in either urine or poo. Smooth as a urine covered bottom….. That’s the new phrase. It’ll catch on.
2) Sleeping like a baby:
Friend, if you are sleeping like a baby. Seek help. A grown individual should not wake up every two hours starving and crying their eyes out while wetting the bed.
I’m JUST saying.
3) She’s cute as a button:
When did buttons become cute? “Your child is as cute as a small disc of plastic that holds my pants up…” This one eludes me.
4) Look at those chubby little cheeks, I just wanna squeeze ’em:
Two words. Child. Abuse.
Few other things I have learned. Babies fart a LOT. Like, every time you pick them up…. bbbbbrrrrrrrrrt. And it’s a grown man’s kinda fart. Not like, small baby, small fart. There’s no fart ratio here. In fact, my child has let out fart’s that were longer than some Queen songs I am pretty sure. Marie and I look back and forth at each other, then at her, then back at each other, get up to pre-heat the oven, come back, build an entire bird house, find the last number in the Pi formula and then maybe she’ll be done. Blew my mind the first time I heard it. I thought she was deflating.
“MY GOD, she blew a valve or something, quick get the Duct tape!!!”
All joking aside though (yeah, right….) it has been awesome. One thing I never understood was hearing a parent talk about just sitting there watching them sleep. Pre-kid me always thought something like:
“OK…. wierd-o. You just sit there and stare at them? Hmmm, not creepy at all.”
But I get it now, for one, you are just appreciating the peace and lack of chaos that sleep can bring to your child. But you just sit there thinking about how this little life is something you made.
I created a life. Living, breathing person.
Well, ok, MARIE did the work, but, you get the idea.
It’s amazing to see her starting to have a personality. To have likes, dislikes, specific things that you know will irritate her or make her smile. She has a routine now, she sits up like a little person. She is a little person. Even starting to get teeth. It’s great. Unless she chomps into my knuckle without my realizing, that’s not so great.
In short, we are almost six months in (5 months and like 3 weeks) and I couldn’t be happier as a dad. We have both been busy, the blog has been slow, but we are still here; hopefully our small readership is too. Either way though, it’ll be great to look back in 10 years and have a set of words to know the things I thought and noticed as she was growing up.
Like her incredible farting ability. She’ll appreciate that come time to start dating.
“Come sit down here son, I think you should know just how loaded with gases this young lady can be…”
Well, that’s all for now. Quick post to say hi really, point out the things you should consider before comparing things or yourself to a baby. More coming hopefully soon. Stay close….