OK, the first blog post about becoming a Dad. We have known for about a month or so now. I remember when we first did the pregnancy test like three months ago. My general thoughts were “so…. you pee on it and we are supposed to trust whatever it says???”
Then she came out and it was positive. I didn’t know what to do. I, of course, doubted it. That’s not the kind of news you want to be a “PSYCH” kinda joke. So, after she talked me out of making her use the second one, and convincing me that it’s definitely true because she missed her. . OK! Got it, totally trust the pee stick. No more info needed here!
So, I am going to be a Dad. I was so excited. Still am. I couldn’t wait to tell the fam. We decided to wait a few weeks. Get a good couple months into the pregnancy, in case something happened. Turns out something like 25% of pregnancies don’t make it through the first few months, or so I read on the internet…. Good ole’ internet. I was really stressed.
So, after a couple of months into it, and with April Fool’s day right around the corner. We knew it was time to tell everyone. On April Fool’s day.
Marie’s sister, Renee, took all day to convince. I sent her photos of Marie’s pre-natal pills and the workout DVD Marie got as proof that we were serious:
Renee quickly texted back “Google images.” She wasn’t to be tricked on April Fool’s day. So, the only thing in the entire house I could think of that only we owned that I could put in the picture to validate our ownership of prenatal vitamins:
Ah yes. The female weightlifting champion award Marie found at an estate sale. This overly sexy statue would certainly validate my argument.
“The statue does the job! Only an epic statue for an epic moment!”
The only other person that really took convincing was my mother. Partly because I have a history of April Fool’s events. Nothing spectacular, but, when trying to convince your mother that she is about to be a first-time grandmother on April Fool’s day, every possible previous time of joking comes up in her argument to why she shouldn’t believe me.
Her point was simple enough “I know you Matthew, this is the kind of shit you pull, and you KNOW I KNOW you would try to do something like this on April Fool’s, so why would I believe you?!”
Me: “Because, Ma, it’s WAY funnier and ironic when you realize that it’s NOT a joke on April Fool’s day.”
My mother: “If I believe you, and I get excited and start telling people that I am going to be a grandma, and then you say it’s a joke, I am going to be very upset and then I am going to fly out there and hurt you. . . ”
Me: “Ok, well, first, It’s not a joke. Secondly, a little angry are we?”
So, everyone but my father was told. Mainly because I knew better than to even attempt it on April Fool’s day with him. He either wouldn’t believe me or would lecture me about how I am “already proving my immaturity by using the first weeks of my child’s life as a joke and not taking it seriously…” or something just as ridiculous.
So, that was almost a month ago. Putting us right about three months along. We are both excited. Waiting for the first doctor’s appointment stinks. Marie is in the Navy, so we are waiting on an appointment set forever away. We are scheduled for the 8th of May but won’t know if it’s a boy or girl for quite some time still. I am really hoping for a boy, but, whatever, I guess if it’s not I’ll have to take some nail-painting classes and learn how to french braid hair. ugh. She’s not dating until she’s twenty.